august

Is it really truely August? This month marks that we have been home for as long as we were at camp. 8 months. Yet here the time has flown by. Was it not just January a little while ago? I am amazed at time. It flies past so fast...and when I look back I have to wonder, "what did I actually accomplish?" 2009: Moved home, got a job, bought a house, renovated said house,...i think that pretty much covers anything significant for this year so far. Doesn't seem too impressive. But I am really hoping to go back to school this fall. Not sure how it is all going to work, but I have decided that if i can't have kids anyways, I guess I need a career or something. Unfortunately I am nowhere near retirement, and I don't want to work for 10 dollars an hour at a whatever job for the rest of my life. Really, I hate working and would much rather stay home and be a wife and that's it, however that just stresses Warren out so i try not to say that around him too much. Plus, we are much more financially stable with two incomes right now. Maybe once that last student loan is gone. Anyways, I really like being an EA, but I think my personality is such that I am too quick to want to take over the classroom. I hold back, because it's not "my" classroom, and I truely respect the teacher, but being an EA has made me think that maybe I can do it. If I am going to spend the bulk of my day being in a classroom, why not make decent money for it and be able to take more ownership in my job? But it is a scary thought and the paperwork part of going back to school is the part where i might not make it in time for the fall semester. But suddenly I am anxious. I want to learn again...and i was good at school and I just want to be good at something again. VBS was just this taste of what it was like when i was good at something, and I crave it. For two weeks I felt so confident in myself, like I had a purpose for being. But now, back to the real world, where I don't know what is going to happen and I have no control over anything. *big sigh*