new

i think i am taking the plunge. not sure how i am going to pay for yet...unless the student loan comes through in time, but i decided to go back to school. So it is off to Prov this fall to finish my BA in Interdisciplinary Studies and then I hope to apply and get into Education at U of M for the fall of 2010. So three years of full time school, commuting, and homework. I am crazy. but really, what else am I going to do with my life? plan A failed, so here is plan B. Deep inside, I still wish plan A would work out...but, plan B is ok, and for now i am excited to have a goal and purpose in my life. So summer is pretty near over, although today i spent a great day in altona at the pool with friends. that was fun. and it was nice out. But it is September and for me September has always felt like a time for new beginnings. So here is my new beginning. This semester will consist of 6 classes (yes, I am crazy), 5 days a week of commuting, 4 of those days being for 830am classes (so excited about that *sarcasm*), hopefully selling enough Pampered Chef to put food on the table and hopefully still being a good wife and not neglecting Warren too much. He still comes first. I am anxious and excited at the same time. All of me is this flurry of emotion right now and I am not sure what to think. I feel like i am at this crossroad in my life. I feel too old to go back to school. I feel like this will take me one step further away from my peers. I feel like this will make me be even more left out of certain things, because now I am not only not a mother, but I am a student. Certainly not anywhere in the same lifeboat as 95% of the people in my life. So that is also frustrating. Here, in my desperate desire to be included, to fit in, to have something in common, the only thing attainable is that which pushes me further away. In the end it will be good, but right now, it is daunting. If only I could just skip the next 20 years of my life and move to where the rest of our friends will be in the empty nest stage. At least then we would fit in again.