It is the middle of July already. And though I must say, I have a pretty great tan, it is COLD outside!!! Sunny and cold! I think it's gonna stay cool till the weekend too, so what to do this cool week? Stain the deck, (buy stain first), buy paint to start painting closet doors and whatnot...but it is so boring being home alone. What does everyone have to have kids? I feel like sometime I just wish it was still like Iw as single and young and my friends would just come over and we would hang out and do nothing all day. But no one does that anymore. It is a sign of getting old. But when you don't have kids, you don't fit in with what everyone else is doing. There is no naptime, no playdates, no invitations to someone's cabin or whatever so that your kids can play together. So I am trying to process through what my life is going to be like since we may never be able to have kids. One word. Lonely. I think about this every day. I am reminded of this wherever I go.
Our adoption file is officially approved now. So that is exciting because all the invasive questions and people checking out your house and whatnot is over. The fear of "what if we get rejected" is over...but even that makes me made because no one is checking the 14 year old pregnant drug addict's house. If I posted all the injustices I feel about infertility no one would read this anymore so I will stop now. So our adoption file is approved and now we wait. Could be weeks, could be years, could be never. Family Planning my butt.
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